Daron got a lot of my kudos today as I announced all over and made calls praising his pacilessness. I saw in his eyes, jealousy and determination mixed deeply with sadness and uncertainty of his own readiness to part with his blankie and thumb. Somehow I am not ready for him to be rid of his soother - although he is 2 plus years older than D.
He tried to come talk to me about how he was going to attempt it - he negotiates with himself. He had hidden it under his animal at the end of the bed. He was going to try. Or he would just fall asleep with it and then move it. Or ... what would "we" get if we do it....
As he tried to talk to me about it when I was gently putting Daron to sleep I tried to kindly tell him to go to his room - that I woudl talk to him about it in his room. That was his story and this was Darons. I said good night lovingly to D who bravely - yes, that is the word- he was very brave about this - and went in to Ian. I thought about telling him to go for it - but last night I had sat in the hallway for Daron, I read a book. I let him come out many times with no reproach. Another tisssue, another pee, a look at a book. Each time I first carried him, then walked him back to his room.. eventually just saying good night and then nothing at all as I looked in my book - so that he saw, I hoped, that I knew he could do it. I wanted to be able to do the same for him if he needed it. And mostly I was thinking... this is Daron's moment. A rare moment to shine alone.Maybe an only moment in forever to shine before Ian does, to beat him to something without that thing losing all meaning because of chronology. So oddly, I convinced Ian to wait for Shavuot. He readily, and very quickly agreed. Yes, Shavout. That's a good idea. And planted his thumb safely in his mouth, blankie in hand, eyes closing as I kissed my big boy good night.
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